Expectations.

there's nothing better than the first impression.. but what if said person you're interested in can't even fulfilled their own set "expectations"? people need to stick to their fucking word. don't try to be someone you're not comfortable with being. don't hold high expectations for yourself if you can't fulfill them. there's nothing worse than getting to know someone who can't even commit to simple shit.. better yet, keep up with themselves. if you have a history of jumping from one person to another, inform the other person.

it would save the world a lot of fucking unneeded drama.

that's my PSA for today.

i'm out.

Spring Break '09.

march 6th - 15th.

Jhazmine..
Dallas..
Bryan..

will all be in Fayetteville.. at the same time.

do you know how rare that is? lol i am so fucking excited. this break is going to be dope as fuck. just thinking about it, and making plans is making me smile extra hard.. like, the clan will finally be one after 50 thousands years lol

in the meantime.. i'm about to run into wal-mart with Solis. i got to buy some shit for my apartment for the next 2 weeks.

ciao.

Stroke It.

*sigh*

man.
today.. today was fucking monumental. the weather was wacky. i had a mini adventure at the bus station. i trooped all around campus it seemed like.. i mean.. mountain climbing and all that shit. classes went great today, too.. and monday's are my longest of them all. i'm tired as fuck though. i have no idea why i'm even on the computer. i should be in the bed napping, but it's almost 7pm lol

in bigger news..

i have received indirect clarity over a certain someone/situation. it's no secret Brad pissed me off lol =p i have nothing to hide. however, those close to me won't have to worry about me mentioning his name ever again.. unless there's a "compare a bitch" contest, and he happens to be in the line-up lmao nah.. but seriously.. as much as i hated what when on/happened, it was a learning lesson. i forgive him, blahzay blahzay.. but ask me about him, and i will tell you to fuck off, and that your life sucks ass with a lead pipe lol i'm not one for grudges. i take full advantage of being angry.. and for damn good reasons. he won't have to worry about nothing ever happening to his car or shit like that.

i'm not grimy.

in the meantime..

my head has been back in the books on steady grind mode. i never left.. i just got knocked off track. i got a shit load of work to do before midterms. fuck. it excites me to be busy, but then i get bored/tired easily of doing repetitive shit.

i have online 4D shit to do.
i have a 3D project i'm currently working on.
i have a World Civ. paper/book analysis to write.. and on a book i haven't even began reading.
i have an Art History paper to prepare for.
i have online Physical Science work to do.

fuck.

i'm officially in classwork/homework debt lol

good thing i have patience.

hold up.. great. fucking. thing.

Rofl.

i got texts out the ass today. it all started this morning.. i was either getting clowned for being single or praised lol WTF? i need new friends =p

anywho.. i've pretty much been playing Assassin's Creed since last night/when i woke up this morning from the first text. that game is boss. the assassinations around the city are fucking dope. hunger for moooore..

*salivates at the mouth*

i thi-- wait.. i know i got some homework to do. i will get to that later, and possibly force myself to get used to this new Drake mixtape. it utterly pissed me off at the first couple of listens, it was super meh.. ugh..

in the meantime, i'm going to tame this thing i have on my head called my hair. it's been looking pretty un-pretty for the past three days lol

CANNON! Step Back..

i've been playing the hell out of this Midnight Club: Los Angeles. that game is fucking dope. anywho.. the tracklisting pisses me off though. every song on there is edited. if there's anything in the world i hate with a passion, i hate edited music.

anywho.. he's a Snoop Dogg song i fancy.

Snoop Dogg feat. Kurupt - Press Play:

Joke's On Me. Ha.

it's official. i have the worst luck when it comes to dudes. my "boyfriend" of only one week already has another chick. how did i find out, you ask? glorious MySpace, of course. so many things were said/answered without me even having to get in contact with him lol

omg, yo.

this is so sadddd. i hate opening myself up to potential, and then it comes down crashing and burning. i put up a major front in the beginning for a reason.. but my front came down too fast, haha. wow. kudos to him for accomplishing such a task in about 2wks. talk about a record.

rather find out the truth early than not at all, huh? lol

the power of being avoided, and the shit you find out when you log in to accomplish such a simple thing. haha. i keep telling niggas MySpace gets you in trouble/tells on you.

so much for being honest these days. gah. that's all i ask for. kept it funky, man. i'm soooo blunt about things.. why can't i find a dude who is the same way!?

shit.

this cycle will be vicious in the future if it keeps repeating. hopefully the next guy who attempts to come in my life would want more than just spending nights together, phone calls/texts, and picturemail.

p.s. he deleted me from his personal/music/Facebook page.. haha. the fuck did i do? who goes through all of the trouble of avoiding someone? shit. oh well. back to the drawing board, nahmean? =]

Sweet, Right?

i can't say a lot went on this past weekend, but it feels like it has.

to make a long story short.. i was going home for the weekend and so was Brad. he was excited about his car being ready and seeing me.. well, on top of all of that, he told me there was some drama between a close homeboy of his and his girl; apparently he put his hands on her, and she called Brad and told him.. i told him to deal with all of that, and we will see either other at the end of the day.. no problem, right?

i didn't arrive in Fayetteville until Friday night; he wasn't leaving until the next day. i called him once we were stationary at Solis' house, throughout the day, and when we came back from bringing Chris back to Pembroke that night. i called him again to tell him i made it to the crib and everything around 9pm.. he called me again around midnight, and told me he was on his way to my house and that he was on Raeford road. i have no idea whether he was coming or going and i haven't heard from him since.

all of Sunday goes by.. still no returned phone call or anything; i pretty much stopped blowing him up.

yesterday morning, my Mom wakes me up out of my sleep asking me who left a rose on the mailbox [clearly i don't know, because i was asleep =|]. so i get up to go see, and it dawns on me that it's possibly from Brad, because he did mention about giving me one Friday night.. i told him i didn't like flowers, but he said he was going to give it to me anyway.. blahzay blahzay..

the only thing that's making this entire situation hair pulling from my point.. he didn't even knock on the door or anything.. he just placed it on the mailbox and bounced. the rose was fresh as hell.. so it wasn't long before my Mom woke me up, or when my sister left for school that it was sitting out there in the cold..

i told whoever i came in contact with about it.. blahzay blahzay.. the next thing i know, people are calling it "sweet".. "romantic".. whatever.. and that i'm ungrateful that he even took the time out to let me know rather indirectly that he's okay.. and i guess nothing serious happened to him or whatever..

WTF!? if it was so easy for him to place the rose in the mailbox, why couldn't he come to the door or something? gosh.

pissing me off.

it's tuesday, and i'm not even as freaked out like i was yesterday. i just hope whatever is going on with him, it's nothing serious. i have a very overactive imagination, and goodness..

what's been concocting is not looking pretty.

p.s. maybe i'm just overreacting..