Gnarly.

one month of the school year has successfully went by without me wanting to drop any classes lol that's pretty awesome within itself.

i loooove my modeling courses. i'm kicking ass everyday on the iMac. in recent events though, my flash drive was acting wacky as fuck.. so i lost just about everything i did from the 1st day of classes until about 2 weeks ago. it was A LOT, and i never felt so hurt by technology. good thing i still had these blank DVDs; i had no idea you could format them to operate like flash drives.. and that means i will never lose anything ever again! lol

in the meantime, i guess i ought to get back to this paper i've been procrastinating on that's due tomorrow. i'm kind of having a minor case of "writer's block" and it's pissing me off lol

ciao. ♥

Nostalgic Weirdness.

i will start this off by saying.. I AM ONLY HUMAN. so, with that being said.. i am allowed to feel.

however, my nostalgia has been at it's worst lately. Solis caught whiff of it when she looked through my phone last night, haha! you can say i'm sort of extending my interest toward other members of the opposite sex, but none of them has yet to capture my attention.. which is making this "getting over" harder than i imagined lol

this moment in my life is where i loathe having emotions and being a girl lol first off.. as much as i don't like that boy, i still have a fucking soft spot for him. why? unfinished business. i hate knowing there's something out there i couldn't help complete.. something that's still lingering thanks to poor handling. the way shit ended was totally one-sided. it's still on my conscience because i didn't have a say-so decision wise. i like to take part in break-ups; it makes the healing process easier, and for me to get over shit. when things aren't done properly.. well, lets just say i still think about it. i've been having these odd moments for months now when i have a definite feeling i will have that closure i need, but it never comes.

ugh.

to top it all off.. Solis told me that she ran into him in Wal-Mart the other day/night or whatever, and that he stopped and spoke to her. he asked her how she was doing, blahzay blahzay.. then proceeded to ask her if she still talked to me.. asked about me, and tried to shy away like he didn't just say my name or something lol OF COURSE SOLIS TALKS TO ME, SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND! sheesh.. if you didn't drop me like a hot potato, then maybe you'd know how i'm doing =|

hold up.. i'm getting off track lol but seriously, how dumb is that?

i'm totally on the verge of just writing him on MySpace or something, and letting him know that this is ridiculous. don't ditch me, and then ASK about my well being lol if i'm right, then maybe he is beginning to feel guilty. i didn't deserve that kind of treatment, but eh..

shit happens, right? why does the bad shit always happen to me? i believe i'm pretty fucking awesome! lol i guess only time will tell, and the answers i need will reveal themselves in due time..