Happy Holidays?

this past week has been hell on earth. besides studying for exams, writing papers, and drawing driving me crazy? it's my fucking family.

1. my sister isn't ready to tell my mom what she's told me about becoming a mental health patient. apparently, she's depressed.. anti-social.. has insomnia.. she's not eating.. basically anything you don't want your baby sister to go through, she's going through it.

2. my mom doesn't want to be patient about what my sister needs to tell her, so therefore she's threatening to cancel our trip to louisiana. she's blaming it on erinn, because she's out of the loop.

3. my mom is taking her anger out on me, because of her cluelessness.. and i know that first hand, because she just hung up in my face not too long ago.

i tried to tell her if i was erinn, i'd be afraid to tell her about my being a mental health patient, too. it's not something you can just bring up casually and be like "oh yeah, mom. i'm crazy and depressed" =| after i said that and tried to explain why? she wasn't on the line anymore.

she has a habit of no longer listening to either of us when she doesn't agree with what she's hearing. if the conversation doesn't go on a note to where she's telling us how we should be, because "she didn't raise us that way"? she goes NUTS. for example.. she was screaming at me for NO. REASON. like.. saying all this shit about my sister and i not caring about her and how she's always doing/caring for other people blah blah blah i've heard all of that before. she's always trying to make us feel guilty. i'm trying to get a word in and have her look at things from my perspective, but she never listens. it's always that "i'm the adult and you're not" and "you don't know what you're talking about" type of condescending tone she develops when we discuss something serious. my mom really believes we don't give a shit about her, and it really hurts me to hear her say that..

the last time i told her that, she told me [and i quote] "go fuck yourself".

instead of making assumptions, why can't she just respect erinn's wishes of not being ready to tell her about that? she's ALWAYS jumping to conclusions. she never thoroughly hears us out. she has a habit of thinking the worst and often pessimistically.

UGH! it just pisses me off, because i can't verbally express myself to my mom as i would like to. i respect her too much. she does all this swearing, calls me out my name.. and then i'm disrespectful? i don't get it.

i will be so happy when erinn musters up enough courage to tell that woman what she needs to hear, because i'm done being the monkey in the middle. it's not fair to me. i love my sister and i love my mother, but this shit here has got to stop.