Misinterpretations.

it's amazing what can escalate in a matter of minutes.

[the scenario]
my Mom wants to go to Louisiana this weekend. she pitched the idea to me last week when i went to see her at the mini mall when i went grocery shopping with Jhazmine. can you say left field, much?

[the decision]
i told her then i did not want to go the instant she mentioned it. i wanted to stay in Fayetteville with my friends and whatnot, and through new years.

[the problem]
i talked to my Dad yesterday when he called my phone, and he said my Paw Paw wasn't doing too great; he's been in an out of the hospital more than ever and they think he might have cancer.

i told my Mom i have no other choice but to go with them, and she goes ballistic. i mean.. the woman just went off for no apparent reason. she begins with my age [i don't make 20 for another week =|]. she says i'm grown, and that no one needs to force me to do anything, because of my attitude.

where the fuck is she getting this from? it's pissing me off. in any discussion with her or if she asks me a question, i have a fucking attitude. God. my age has nothing to do with me now having a "legitimate reason" to go. i know.. she is my mother.. blah blah.. but she has no right to see fit what is "legitimate". i don't question her when she doesn't want to do anything, so why should she question me?

ugh.

i don't even feel like typing about this shit anymore..

Christmas!

the following is what i got before/on christmas:

the story behind this photo can only be seen in full length on my facebook page. if you are my friend, i'm sure you have laughed your ass off by now.

2nd Chances.

ever since i've gotten back with Ced, the ones closest to me were a bit confused. they didn't understand to an extent why i decided to be with him again. from my point of view, everyone deserves a 2nd chance.. HOWEVER, it really depends on the circumstances of the initial "break-up" to ever reconsider dating that person again.

sure.. i really disliked Ced for his decision. i didn't want to talk to him.. i didn't even pick up the phone to call him. the break-up was all left field; i wasn't expecting it. there were all kinds of emotions. my friends would ask me what happened, and then would go on to say that his decision was indeed a stupid one. i'm proud, and glad to say that he has indeed wholeheartedly apologized for his actions, and for being a bit selfish [and he was lol].. him being considerate of my feelings made me remember why i fell in love with him in the first place..

which brings me to my initial topic..

i had a very interesting conversation with my ex the other night [through texting]. we were just talking and whatnot; i was hanging out at Solis' apartment. i told him i had gotten back with Ced, and that i believed in giving 2nd chances.. then he goes on to say that "i guess people deserve 2nd chances, not in my case thought right?". i went on to tell him that it depended on the circumstances.. and in his case? the night we forcefully broke-up didn't deserve another chance lol because of the way things between us ended, i never really had any "closure", because neither one of us didn't like bringing up what happened. in a way, i'm kind of glad we had that convo.. it was a way of closure for me. even though i've already moved on, it pretty much sealed the deal.

in the meantime.. i think i made a very wise decision with Ced. i hope shit brings us to the year we have been working for! i love him with every fabric of my being [/cliche']

Just A Little Bit..

[17] more days until i'm 20!

now, alls i gots to do is make a list of what i want.. but where do i start!?

Espanol.

i love my mind sometimes, man.. greatest. thing. ever.

so i'm in the living room watching this lame ass AVP: Requiem for the second time, when it dawns on me that i'm humming this old tune my Spanish 1 teacher, Mrs. Clark, used to play whenever she got the chance. i used to love it, but i never asked her who sang the song..

well.. i found it!

Juanes feat. Nelly Furtado - Fotografia:

Inkage!

[22] more days until i'm 20. yes. i plan on doing alot. my birthday falls on a saturday, and it could not get any better.. that means i have a whole fucking birthday weekend up in this beeeetch.

crunk.

on a side note.. in regards to being spectacularly busy with my own school work, including sketches for class and what not.. i have been completely sidetracked to doing a design for a homeboy of mine in florida. he just reminded me the other day, and now i feel all bad lol =P well, not completely. i will be sure to make amends for it once i get the concept of what i want to draw out in my head. also, i will most definitely be doing my own shit as well. i think the concept i have now is about as original as i can make it..

damn.
i love dozing off during speech exams, and coming up with the illest. shit. ever.

inspiration rocks.

Bang, Bang, Bang.

the end of the fall semester is here! yes! in reflection, i kicked ass this semester.

major ass.

i can't wait for the spring. i have 3D, 4D, and Art History II. i love how i will be more involved with my major. man, this rocks. i think i will have about 16 hrs. worth of classes. the only sad thing, i won't only have just three days of class each week.

=[

boo to that.

Magazine Flippage.

i'm reading this magazine for like.. the millionth time. the execution of the entire dedication to aaliyah was just FLAWLESS. i remember when i was out one day with Jhazmine and Lincoln, and she was looking for a text book for her online class. we went to both Books-A-Million and Barnes and Nobles, and i took it upon myself to look for the Fader in each store..

when we walked into Barnes and Nobles.. i rushed to the magazine section, and that's when i laid eyes upon the beauty..

there were only two copies left. i grabbed the both of them and hauled ass to surprise Jhazmine. she screamed. i shrieked. people were definitely giving us glares. i can say without a doubt, that was the best. day. ever.

there was another girl who was kind of glaring at us.. i think she was mighty green with envy. better luck next time.. i work fast.

That Nigga Driz-zay!

fuck.
if Drake didn't go in on this fucking Kanye beat, i don't know what else to say.

Drake - Say You Will, mix 2

he just keeps getting better.
and better.
and better.

gah.
this man just makes me cringe with excitement every time i get my hands on a new joint.

this next mixtape?
this next album?

America.. don't say i didn't warn you!

Crystal Meth.

i'm in desperate need of Lady Gaga's album. i can't find it anywhere, and i love what i'm hearing.

What The FUCK, Hov?

Jay-Z feat. Santogold - Brooklyn We Go Hard:

really, Hov? REALLY?
smh.. jamaican accent has got to goooo.
if Blueprint 3 has more features like this, i don't know what i'm going to do.. i'm at wits end here! WITS END!

before you know it, i'll become a cutter.. and slash my wrists manually in my room with all of the lights out, while i pour hot candle wax on the wounds to make them heal faster.

boo, Jigga.. BOO.

Hovi, Baby.

Jay-Z - U Don't Know:


Jay-Z - Hovi Baby Live:

this is it.. for now.. i'm in my apartment setting the mood with lit candles, and sipping tea lmao

Tees, Man. TEES!

for some time now, i've been thinking about creating a line of tees.. but there's one problem.. i'm having an artist block coming up with a name and logo. like.. there's shit out there getting exposure and they look so simple. the concepts to me seem rather mediocre [although i'm being a hypocrite for falling such mediocrity lol], but i think i could have a hand in fashion.. even without seamstress capabilities lol

i'm a simple female.. for those who know me, knew me for being such a tomboy growing up; no frilliness unless the occasion needed it. i love my tees, and i would love to have a hand in the industry doing so. besides the field i'm going to school for, i think i will have a good chance of being successful.

big dreams call for big work and dedication.. as cliche' as this may sound.. i plan on going hard, and hopefully not ever think about returning home.. well, except for the holidays lol

i have all of that, but all i need is to come up with a damn concept!

in the meantime, i'm outie.
i has plenty-o-work to do..
including a music test my professor might take down from Blackboard tonight.
i've been kicking ass and fucking taking names all semester; i'll be damned if i don't do shit now.

ciao.