I'm a Trapper.

i think my life took a screeching halt after Spring Break lol nothing exciting has been going on but school. was it possible that i had that much fun in a week? haha oh man.. enough about that.. fall registration opened a couple days ago. i have about 22 more classes to take; 20 of those will be taken at the school and 2 during the summer so i can graduate on time =]

i'm so stoked. i have everything already mapped out for the fall. it will be my Junior semester/year. i turned the way i handle shit completely around. i will be damned if i'm placed on academic probation again. if that wasn't a reality check, i don't know what was lol however, this semester has been a little fun and stressful all at the same time. it feels as if time is hauling ass past me.

my midterm grades were dope as fuck, too.. except for that D in my Physical Science class. i haven't seen any of that shit since high school, haha. oh well.. i want to bring that up to at least a C. that's the only class really kicking my ass right now lol

in the meantime, i have to finish this homework i have for it. it's due sunday night before 11 59pm..

ciao.

Spring Break '09 II.

my Spring Break is almost over. i had so much fun. 2 more days left of making memories. that's all i'm leaving here, for such stories that could be shared will indeed be self-incriminating.

Lord knows i don't want that shit to happen ROFL

Dude.

ahhhhhhhhhh.
the excitement.
ahhhhhhhhhh!

anywho.. i's leaving tomorrow for a glorious week of spring in Fayetteville beginning tomorrow. oh man, i'm going to have so much fun.. no matter how many times i've talked about it, haha.

yes.

can't wait.

>.<

Snow Day!

this is the only evidence of snow i have. i didn't take it until the snow stopped falling.. i didn't go to sleep until about 6 30am this morning. Jhazmine and i were on the phone acting stupid for a few hours lol good thing classes were cancelled.. more time with homework and shit.

oh man.

the snow was so pretty.
so white.
untouched..
until this morning of course lol =p

in the meantime, i have to go trek in the snow since i have to take my trash out. boo.

Before The Shop Closes..

Spring Break is next week! ^.^

midterms begin tomorrow, though. i've been working my ass off. keeping up with the coursework has been a little confusing. it's like in each class, it's the continuation of something already going on.. which kind of pisses me off since i'm so used to new assignments handed out each week.

ugh.

i have an Art History paper due tuesday; the exam is on thursday.
my World Civ. paper can be turned in all this week online.
my 4D work has to be posted by Friday.. animation and all!
my 3D work will continue when we get back..
my Physical Science work can be done whenever.. just as long as i read the chapters; i also have an exam tomorrow.

Lord.

how am i still alive? lol

Expectations.

there's nothing better than the first impression.. but what if said person you're interested in can't even fulfilled their own set "expectations"? people need to stick to their fucking word. don't try to be someone you're not comfortable with being. don't hold high expectations for yourself if you can't fulfill them. there's nothing worse than getting to know someone who can't even commit to simple shit.. better yet, keep up with themselves. if you have a history of jumping from one person to another, inform the other person.

it would save the world a lot of fucking unneeded drama.

that's my PSA for today.

i'm out.

Spring Break '09.

march 6th - 15th.

Jhazmine..
Dallas..
Bryan..

will all be in Fayetteville.. at the same time.

do you know how rare that is? lol i am so fucking excited. this break is going to be dope as fuck. just thinking about it, and making plans is making me smile extra hard.. like, the clan will finally be one after 50 thousands years lol

in the meantime.. i'm about to run into wal-mart with Solis. i got to buy some shit for my apartment for the next 2 weeks.

ciao.

Stroke It.

*sigh*

man.
today.. today was fucking monumental. the weather was wacky. i had a mini adventure at the bus station. i trooped all around campus it seemed like.. i mean.. mountain climbing and all that shit. classes went great today, too.. and monday's are my longest of them all. i'm tired as fuck though. i have no idea why i'm even on the computer. i should be in the bed napping, but it's almost 7pm lol

in bigger news..

i have received indirect clarity over a certain someone/situation. it's no secret Brad pissed me off lol =p i have nothing to hide. however, those close to me won't have to worry about me mentioning his name ever again.. unless there's a "compare a bitch" contest, and he happens to be in the line-up lmao nah.. but seriously.. as much as i hated what when on/happened, it was a learning lesson. i forgive him, blahzay blahzay.. but ask me about him, and i will tell you to fuck off, and that your life sucks ass with a lead pipe lol i'm not one for grudges. i take full advantage of being angry.. and for damn good reasons. he won't have to worry about nothing ever happening to his car or shit like that.

i'm not grimy.

in the meantime..

my head has been back in the books on steady grind mode. i never left.. i just got knocked off track. i got a shit load of work to do before midterms. fuck. it excites me to be busy, but then i get bored/tired easily of doing repetitive shit.

i have online 4D shit to do.
i have a 3D project i'm currently working on.
i have a World Civ. paper/book analysis to write.. and on a book i haven't even began reading.
i have an Art History paper to prepare for.
i have online Physical Science work to do.

fuck.

i'm officially in classwork/homework debt lol

good thing i have patience.

hold up.. great. fucking. thing.

Rofl.

i got texts out the ass today. it all started this morning.. i was either getting clowned for being single or praised lol WTF? i need new friends =p

anywho.. i've pretty much been playing Assassin's Creed since last night/when i woke up this morning from the first text. that game is boss. the assassinations around the city are fucking dope. hunger for moooore..

*salivates at the mouth*

i thi-- wait.. i know i got some homework to do. i will get to that later, and possibly force myself to get used to this new Drake mixtape. it utterly pissed me off at the first couple of listens, it was super meh.. ugh..

in the meantime, i'm going to tame this thing i have on my head called my hair. it's been looking pretty un-pretty for the past three days lol

CANNON! Step Back..

i've been playing the hell out of this Midnight Club: Los Angeles. that game is fucking dope. anywho.. the tracklisting pisses me off though. every song on there is edited. if there's anything in the world i hate with a passion, i hate edited music.

anywho.. he's a Snoop Dogg song i fancy.

Snoop Dogg feat. Kurupt - Press Play:

Joke's On Me. Ha.

it's official. i have the worst luck when it comes to dudes. my "boyfriend" of only one week already has another chick. how did i find out, you ask? glorious MySpace, of course. so many things were said/answered without me even having to get in contact with him lol

omg, yo.

this is so sadddd. i hate opening myself up to potential, and then it comes down crashing and burning. i put up a major front in the beginning for a reason.. but my front came down too fast, haha. wow. kudos to him for accomplishing such a task in about 2wks. talk about a record.

rather find out the truth early than not at all, huh? lol

the power of being avoided, and the shit you find out when you log in to accomplish such a simple thing. haha. i keep telling niggas MySpace gets you in trouble/tells on you.

so much for being honest these days. gah. that's all i ask for. kept it funky, man. i'm soooo blunt about things.. why can't i find a dude who is the same way!?

shit.

this cycle will be vicious in the future if it keeps repeating. hopefully the next guy who attempts to come in my life would want more than just spending nights together, phone calls/texts, and picturemail.

p.s. he deleted me from his personal/music/Facebook page.. haha. the fuck did i do? who goes through all of the trouble of avoiding someone? shit. oh well. back to the drawing board, nahmean? =]

Sweet, Right?

i can't say a lot went on this past weekend, but it feels like it has.

to make a long story short.. i was going home for the weekend and so was Brad. he was excited about his car being ready and seeing me.. well, on top of all of that, he told me there was some drama between a close homeboy of his and his girl; apparently he put his hands on her, and she called Brad and told him.. i told him to deal with all of that, and we will see either other at the end of the day.. no problem, right?

i didn't arrive in Fayetteville until Friday night; he wasn't leaving until the next day. i called him once we were stationary at Solis' house, throughout the day, and when we came back from bringing Chris back to Pembroke that night. i called him again to tell him i made it to the crib and everything around 9pm.. he called me again around midnight, and told me he was on his way to my house and that he was on Raeford road. i have no idea whether he was coming or going and i haven't heard from him since.

all of Sunday goes by.. still no returned phone call or anything; i pretty much stopped blowing him up.

yesterday morning, my Mom wakes me up out of my sleep asking me who left a rose on the mailbox [clearly i don't know, because i was asleep =|]. so i get up to go see, and it dawns on me that it's possibly from Brad, because he did mention about giving me one Friday night.. i told him i didn't like flowers, but he said he was going to give it to me anyway.. blahzay blahzay..

the only thing that's making this entire situation hair pulling from my point.. he didn't even knock on the door or anything.. he just placed it on the mailbox and bounced. the rose was fresh as hell.. so it wasn't long before my Mom woke me up, or when my sister left for school that it was sitting out there in the cold..

i told whoever i came in contact with about it.. blahzay blahzay.. the next thing i know, people are calling it "sweet".. "romantic".. whatever.. and that i'm ungrateful that he even took the time out to let me know rather indirectly that he's okay.. and i guess nothing serious happened to him or whatever..

WTF!? if it was so easy for him to place the rose in the mailbox, why couldn't he come to the door or something? gosh.

pissing me off.

it's tuesday, and i'm not even as freaked out like i was yesterday. i just hope whatever is going on with him, it's nothing serious. i have a very overactive imagination, and goodness..

what's been concocting is not looking pretty.

p.s. maybe i'm just overreacting..

Skydiving Monkeys.

i'm sitting here listening to Asher Roth..

patiently waiting on my Mom to come scoop me up from Winston-Salem.. i've already knocked out a little homework and whatnot; some Art History. i'm about to touch my World Civ. shit in a minute.. i wish my professor would haul ass and send off the terms already so i can get down on those sentences! lol =p

oh man.. i can't wait until i get back to Fayetteville.. all-nighters with the girls are the best.. but i'm not just going home this weekend to kick it with them.. i can't wait to see Brad! =]

boy oh boy. that guy? he rockssss superbly. like.. i don't know what it is about him that makes me just cheese my ass off everytime someone mentions his name, but i am so loving the feeling. although, things are going moderately quick.. i think it's time for me to get a firm grip on the movement of shit. i don't want shit to go too fast, and then we really can't enjoy each other. we are both doing our own thing with our lives.. hell, i'm surprised he's doing this much now to even spend time with me/get to know me with his fastpaced lifestyle [from what it seems like lol].

all in all.. he's great to me right now.
nah. i'm not looking into the "future" with this one; i take whatever is handed to me and i treat with the best care in the worlllldddd!

BestWeekendEvarrrr.

i finally got my tattoo this past friday. i've never been so excited about anything else. i find myself zoning out during lectures, and just staring at my wrist lol [kidding]. the cool thing about today, Brad got his the same night i did.. and on the same hand..

at first i was like: =|

but then i lol'd: =D

the thing that surprised me the most about getting it, i didn't feel too much pain. i think my excitement pretty much cancelled it out. i was grinning and cheesing the entire time when the artist was inking me up.

i'm already planning on getting another one, haha.

to top everything off, Jhaz and Solis came and scooped me up from school that afternoon. i have the coolest friends; love those girls!

p.s. Brad and i are official! =] ♥

now, let's see where this all goes..

How Many.. ?

gah.

i can't wait until i get a car. this is ridiculous. i'm 20 years old, and car-less! when will the massive forces stop booing at my life!? lol

in other news.. today was quite the adventure. i finally made it to my 4D class downtown. i had to get my schedule in working order before i can definitely attend classes. getting down there was easy, but coming back? what an adventure. myself and two classmates rode around on the wrong bus for about an hour.. right back to the bus station. my genius ass didn't even ask anyone who worked there which bus headed back to wssu like i initially had in my mind lol

i spent $3 on riding those damn buses. i'm never following anyone again if they have no idea where they are going lol

never again.

Happy Birthday, Aaliyah!

this woman would have been 30 years old today. i've been on her harder than usual for today.. of course lol in the meantime.. i'm going back to my program.. and then probably cake on the phone..

haha.

ciao. ♥

2 Weeks Later.

it is amazing what happens when you tell someone you like them. i was not expecting shit to unfold like it has.. or maybe i did?

ha.

[to bring you up to speed]

this dude Brad.. his nick. is Knowledge.
he's an emcee.
i went to high school with him.
he lives in Charlotte now.

apparently, he's had a crush on me since high school.
he told me himself he always had an "eye" on me, but he and i were dating other people.. so he never pursued lol =p i got to see him once during my holiday break when i was "single" for that short period. he swung by Solis' apartment [at the time] to see me.. talk about sparks.

gah.
i can't explain it.

of course my silly ass didn't say anything to him then..

now i have.
things are pretty dope, if you ask me.

p.s. [1.16.09]

why does this always happen to me?
every single time a relationship of mine has ran it's course with someone.. it feels like the next person i dated was waiting in an "invisible" line, or some shit lol

for example.. Lamar.. then i broke-up with him.. month later, i began dating Tremaine.. when things started going downhill with him, we forcefully broke-up.. i began dating Cedric.. 10 months go by; we grow apart.. Brad comes into the picture..

GAH! playing catch-up is cool since i didn't really date much in high school.. but Jesus!

rofl.

ADH.

ugh.

friday is drawing near.
just another reminder of Aaliyah's birthday.
she would have been 30 years old.

i miss that chick, man.

if you know me.. you know this day is pretty much celebratory in a sense. i miss her presence in the game. thank goodness they are doing a biopic this year. i can't wait for that! they chose Keisha Chante' to play her.

gah.
the excitement is killing me. Jhazmine and i will most definitely fandango those tickets.

Sprinnnng Classes.

oh man.
it felt hella good to be back on WSSU soil.

i got all of my shit straight, too. i registered for 16 hours this semester, even though it's a total
of about 5 classes, plus a lab for one.

i have:
3D Design
4D Design
Art History II
World Civ.
Physical Science + Lab

i have reasonable class times, and absolutely NO 8 o'clock classes.
waking up at 7am is pretty much heaven compared to last semester when i only had classes 3 times a week.

oh well.
there's a time for change, and a chance for takeover..

i plan on taking over. =]

Well. Um. Yeah.

Ced and i broke things off for good yesterday evening. it was pretty much a mutual agreement. i didn't talk to him for a few days, because i was really putting thought into my decision. breaking the news to him felt that much easier, and kind of lifted a weight of guilt off of my shoulders.

we're both at a point in our lives where we are just not "clicking" like we used to. we barely talked about anything. if i was interrupted while i was on the phone with him, i'd tell him i'd call him back.. and then forget to. i know this sounds bad, but ever since the last break-up in november.. i just completely lost interest. my feelings were so nonchalant, it wasn't even funny. i tried to make myself believe that everything was going to be the same again, but they weren't. i was becoming bored.. a whole month flew by.

then all of a sudden..

a tumbleweed of coolness comes my way the beginning of this week..

i'm crossing my fingers with this one.. and pretty much taking shit extremely slow.

Scary Shit.

i don't know why my silly ass keeps wandering toward those fuckin' msn horoscopes. i swear.. it keeps getting more personal every single time, for example:

"Talking is one way that you could finally get the attention of someone who has haunted you with their charm and style for a long while now. The planets are creating the opportunity for you to finally get within chatting distance, and once you do start to converse, you will both be amazed at how you managed to stay out of each other's lives for so long."

WTF!?

20th Highlights.

yours truly.. and sporting the sombrero i had my Mom buy at City Party.

my Dallas!

my Lis!

my Jhazzy!

more silliness on Facebook. i have over 132 photos from this year's holiday break collectively. wow!

i had such a blast.

20th Birthday!

^.^

i is so happyyyy.
i'm finally 20!

yay.

okay. i is going to sleep now.

ciao. ♥

Misinterpretations.

it's amazing what can escalate in a matter of minutes.

[the scenario]
my Mom wants to go to Louisiana this weekend. she pitched the idea to me last week when i went to see her at the mini mall when i went grocery shopping with Jhazmine. can you say left field, much?

[the decision]
i told her then i did not want to go the instant she mentioned it. i wanted to stay in Fayetteville with my friends and whatnot, and through new years.

[the problem]
i talked to my Dad yesterday when he called my phone, and he said my Paw Paw wasn't doing too great; he's been in an out of the hospital more than ever and they think he might have cancer.

i told my Mom i have no other choice but to go with them, and she goes ballistic. i mean.. the woman just went off for no apparent reason. she begins with my age [i don't make 20 for another week =|]. she says i'm grown, and that no one needs to force me to do anything, because of my attitude.

where the fuck is she getting this from? it's pissing me off. in any discussion with her or if she asks me a question, i have a fucking attitude. God. my age has nothing to do with me now having a "legitimate reason" to go. i know.. she is my mother.. blah blah.. but she has no right to see fit what is "legitimate". i don't question her when she doesn't want to do anything, so why should she question me?

ugh.

i don't even feel like typing about this shit anymore..

Christmas!

the following is what i got before/on christmas:

the story behind this photo can only be seen in full length on my facebook page. if you are my friend, i'm sure you have laughed your ass off by now.

2nd Chances.

ever since i've gotten back with Ced, the ones closest to me were a bit confused. they didn't understand to an extent why i decided to be with him again. from my point of view, everyone deserves a 2nd chance.. HOWEVER, it really depends on the circumstances of the initial "break-up" to ever reconsider dating that person again.

sure.. i really disliked Ced for his decision. i didn't want to talk to him.. i didn't even pick up the phone to call him. the break-up was all left field; i wasn't expecting it. there were all kinds of emotions. my friends would ask me what happened, and then would go on to say that his decision was indeed a stupid one. i'm proud, and glad to say that he has indeed wholeheartedly apologized for his actions, and for being a bit selfish [and he was lol].. him being considerate of my feelings made me remember why i fell in love with him in the first place..

which brings me to my initial topic..

i had a very interesting conversation with my ex the other night [through texting]. we were just talking and whatnot; i was hanging out at Solis' apartment. i told him i had gotten back with Ced, and that i believed in giving 2nd chances.. then he goes on to say that "i guess people deserve 2nd chances, not in my case thought right?". i went on to tell him that it depended on the circumstances.. and in his case? the night we forcefully broke-up didn't deserve another chance lol because of the way things between us ended, i never really had any "closure", because neither one of us didn't like bringing up what happened. in a way, i'm kind of glad we had that convo.. it was a way of closure for me. even though i've already moved on, it pretty much sealed the deal.

in the meantime.. i think i made a very wise decision with Ced. i hope shit brings us to the year we have been working for! i love him with every fabric of my being [/cliche']

Just A Little Bit..

[17] more days until i'm 20!

now, alls i gots to do is make a list of what i want.. but where do i start!?

Espanol.

i love my mind sometimes, man.. greatest. thing. ever.

so i'm in the living room watching this lame ass AVP: Requiem for the second time, when it dawns on me that i'm humming this old tune my Spanish 1 teacher, Mrs. Clark, used to play whenever she got the chance. i used to love it, but i never asked her who sang the song..

well.. i found it!

Juanes feat. Nelly Furtado - Fotografia:

Inkage!

[22] more days until i'm 20. yes. i plan on doing alot. my birthday falls on a saturday, and it could not get any better.. that means i have a whole fucking birthday weekend up in this beeeetch.

crunk.

on a side note.. in regards to being spectacularly busy with my own school work, including sketches for class and what not.. i have been completely sidetracked to doing a design for a homeboy of mine in florida. he just reminded me the other day, and now i feel all bad lol =P well, not completely. i will be sure to make amends for it once i get the concept of what i want to draw out in my head. also, i will most definitely be doing my own shit as well. i think the concept i have now is about as original as i can make it..

damn.
i love dozing off during speech exams, and coming up with the illest. shit. ever.

inspiration rocks.

Bang, Bang, Bang.

the end of the fall semester is here! yes! in reflection, i kicked ass this semester.

major ass.

i can't wait for the spring. i have 3D, 4D, and Art History II. i love how i will be more involved with my major. man, this rocks. i think i will have about 16 hrs. worth of classes. the only sad thing, i won't only have just three days of class each week.

=[

boo to that.